January 6. 2017


Hi guys! I am finally back after a little bit of a break, dang computer problems! Right in time for everyone starting their New Year’s resolution. To the people trying something new or wanting to challenge themselves, I wanted to talk about one thing in particular. Sacrifices, the things we want now verses things we have to earn later.


Saying the word “no”, to going out, to having drinks, and to eating extra food. But it’s not just saying no, it’s more than that. It’s the thought behind the action. You can say no and mope or be upset. Like I can’t eat this because I will gain weight, verses I chose not to because this is what I need to do to get to my goals. There are no excuses for not doing what you really want. These moments of struggle are always temporary; it may take a while to get through your current challenge. Ends and flows, ups and downs but with every end there is a new beginning.


This is actually my first official week of prep and it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. This is ‘familiar’ territory. Nothing is the same but I remember this part! Having ok workouts and being hungry, also being tired.  Your focus changes, I no longer am worried about trying to build and make those changes. Now it’s more try and maintain strength, follow your nutrition, get your cardio done, and most important stay positive.


Don’t worry about people that won’t support you. It can be hard saying no and isolating yourself but there will be a day when you have others that have the same views as you do. It always takes time, so don’t feel bad for saying you don’t want to go party. They will understand and support your decisions if they support you. If they don’t, do you want to continue on the same road with them?


Like I said above, its prep time so there are no’s and, ifs, maybe, etc. I have my plan and now is my time. No excuses. It’s time to deliver and it’s my job to finish it out.


Hope you guys have enjoyed the holidays and have made good memories. Now it’s time for a new year to see what we can do!


Have a great weekend,




January 4. 2017

A New Year

Yes that's right. It's a new year again and a new chance to change the things around you that you think require improvement. Each year, people make these things called "resolutions" where they decide they've finally had enough or they are going to do that certain something they've been planning for the past decade. It's the time of reflection on the last year and repentance if you don't see that it was perfect. 


New Years is a great time of year, but to me it's no different than any other day. Here's the thing. If you wait until the new year each year, well you're probably not getting much done in the way of what you want to do. You probably work hard at your job, work hard being a parent or student, and then neglect yourself and say "I'll fix it next year". Of course a huge majority of folks who make New Year's Resolutions get tired and burn out after the first month. That's why we see such an influx at the gyms. People decide they finally are going to put in some work and then realize "this isn't easy" and give up. 

In my opinion, making any kind of resolution around the new year is almost like setting yourself up for failure. I used to do these and found myself in the exact trend I am describing. Each year it used to be about getting in shape. I'd start out strong and then quickly devolved back into the same bad habits again. I watch others do the same thing year after year as well. 

The problem is that we are putting way too much stress on ourselves. First you have the stress of actually putting in the work for your resolution, which if it were an easy thing, you probably would have done it a long time ago. Then we have the stress of living up to not only our own expectations, but everyone else's that we told about it because we all know that other people's opinions of our self image are important. Finally we have the mental side of it all. Realizing that what we are trying to accomplish is usually a bit much to process at one time. 

Resolving to change your life for the better is not a bad thing. It's a great thing. The bad thing is setting up unrealistic expectations and trying to achieve too much at one time. If your goal was to lose weight this year, that's fantastic! You absolutely can do it. You just have to remember something. You can't lose fifty pounds all at once, it takes time, structure, and will power. So why not instead commit to losing five or ten and moving to the next bit afterwards. That seems much more achievable right? It is for sure. The same can apply for really any resolution. 

We must limit ourselves and set smaller goals. I've talked about this many times in the past and I still see folks going down the same trend. I'm not alone in talking about this either. Almost any fitness professional you will talk to will tell you something along the same lines. You've got to be patient, you've got to keep going, and you cannot give up if it doesn't go your way one week. 

I've also talked before about getting back up if you fall. If you did make a resolution, then I applaud you for wanting to make a change. If you do not make it however because you slipped up somehow and just threw in the towel, then I'm sorry, that's where you are going wrong. You can slip up, it's not an awesome thing to do, but we all do it. Anyone that is able to be on the ball 100% of the time is the most committed person in the world. If you do slip up, it's fine. Brush yourself off and keep going. Don't let one slip, however bad, cascade into not trying to reach your goal. 

I realize the start of this blog seems to paint a negative picture about making New Year's Resolutions, but that's not my intended purpose. My purpose is to help you think about what you are doing and approach it a more logical way. It's a positive thing to make a change if it's a healthy one. We just cannot allow the stigma of making it on a certain day our precedent for accomplishing feats we couldn't previously. It's quite a cliche to make a resolution these days. It doesn't have to be a bad thing though. 

Small goals, small goals, small goals. There, I said it three times so you'll remember. 

We need those small goals so that we can ensure that we will be able to complete what we've set out to. Trust me, it's so much more feasible this way and a lot less stressful.

Get in the gym, welcome the new comers, or if you are a new comer, try to be a positive addition to your gym. 

Ask questions if you need to, but be respectful and have fun. No one is where they are today because they started there. They had to put in hard work and dedicate a portion of their life to what they believe is important. 

Have a fantastic rest of your week and stay strong! The large eating holidays are finally over folks! They are over! So it's time to buckle down again. 

Thanks so much,

Adam Hartley 

Co-Owner/Coach Custom Fintess Consulting


December 28. 2016

Going from 0 to 60

Recently I've been thinking a lot about injury prevention, form and the differences between working hard and working effectively. There's a trend I see in the gyms, and have seen for as long as I can remember. The alpha male trend. One guy will be lifting something heavy, so the guy next to him has to equal it or outdo it in some way. They both huff their chests, drop their weights and high five. Not really, but that's what it feels like sometimes. 

There's a trend of who can outwork who, or who is the strongest. It's a competition. Which is totally fine for the most part. The problem lies in non seasoned lifters. You get a bunch of kids around the holidays off from college, and not all of them have been lifting consistently or as long as the guys who come in everyday. I watch these kids try to match everyone else. Some of them are fine, I'm talking about the ones with inexperience who just feel like they have to do the same as everyone else around them. What happens is one guy lifts, then another guy does, but only one of the two have proper form. Now I'm not an extremist on form, but I have learned throughout the years how important it is. I've also learned how to manipulate it to my benefit when it doesn't seem perfect. 

So what's the big deal? One guy's lift is just as good as another's right? Wrong, very wrong. The issue is that without proper form, you are prone to injury. There are rules to lifting, believe it or not, and having proper form is one of them. Is it fun to have good form? Not always on all lifts. Sometimes you'll find that you cannot lift as much because you've been compensating with other muscle groups to push weight that you're not strong enough to lift. I'll give you an example.

Bench press is one of the most effective and easiest ways to get hurt in the gym. As simple as the exercise is, there are so many ways to injury yourself doing it, it's insane. Often times I'll see someone load up a bunch of weight, they'll bring it down (usually not even with a spotter) and press it up. Seems great. One issue. They are working wrong all the way up the kinetic chain. Guys that lift their entire lower half off the bench to press the weight up. Hips thrusting upward in an attempt to gain some momentum to push something they shouldn't be under. Or someone with one arm pushing great and the other lagging way being. I see it constantly and it is the path to injury I assure you. 

I could get into the form a bit and tell you what I believe to be proper based for numerous reasons, and I will do so perhaps in a video down the road. Today however, I just want to instill in you to pay attention. If you are lifting and it hurts, there is a darn good chance you are doing it wrong. If you are doing lunges, and they hurt, not burn, but hurt, then you probably should either not being doing them or are doing them totally incorrectly. 

So what? Well, it's kind of a big deal believe it or not. Improper bench techniques and lifting in general, lead to a number of issues. One being muscle imbalance, which honestly I believe the bench creates those anyway (and I love bench press). The other being numerous injuries from head to toe. Think about it. The bench press starts at your feet. You have to have them properly planted to get a good lift, if you don't, then you are more prone to injury from toe to head and vice versa. I can tell you from experience of having injuries while bench pressing, form is everything.

What do you do if you just don't know the proper form? You want to do the lift and you cannot figure it out or you're second guessing  yourself. There are several things you can do. First you could hire a trainer or a coach to teach you proper lifting techniques. If you cannot afford that, then there are places like Bodybuilding.com you can go to and view the proper ways. You can ask an experienced friend or even someone in the gym if they are open to helping. I know that I for one, would love to help some young guys lift better. I watch them lift wrong constantly but I'm not going to intrude if they do not want my help. I am open to helping though. 

Form and then function. You have to have A to get to B. It's that simple. If you want to get the most out of your exercises and not hate the way they make you feel, then form is key. 

If you are new to the gym atmosphere, just know this. You do not have to be at the same level as everyone else. It's ok. Go at your pace and do you. Forget the pride aspect of exercise and use your noggin. Start out slow and gradually build up with time. We are not machines and we are not built like machines. So there's no need to push like there's no tomorrow, because there is. If you get in a great workout, but you lifted less than everyone else in that gym, who cares?? It's about time under tension. That's what's important and that's what builds muscle density and strength. 

So the next time you're in the gym, those of you that are inexperience of hell even those of you that are, take a second and check yourself. See if you're using proper form and getting the optimal benefit from your lifts or if you're just moving weight. Correct what you can and really focus on hitting those muscle. 

I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday and is ready to get back to it!!

Until next time,

Adam Hartley Co-Owner/Coach

ahartely@customfitnessconsulting.com for exercise and nutrition programs

December 23. 2016

Living in the Present with Your Goals

Goals are something we work towards, in the future! How do we live in the now and stay motivated or dedicated to what we want to achieve in the future? It's very challenging not knowing if you will reach your potential. It's easy to make excuses because we don't see the work happening.

I have heard so many people talking about their New Year's Eve resolution and honestly I kind of feel like I’m doing one because that's when I start prep. So, in my view, I still put a lot of effort into sticking to the plan I'm on now but sometimes in my head I think "ahh it's ok one slip won't hurt, you are in off-season!" This is the doorway to making excuses just like "it's Christmas, we can eat how much of whatever we want!" You can but don't regret it tomorrow! It's a choice you live with. That's why exercising healthy habits now is important! Why wait for something though if you really want it? The thought that "It's the holidays we have to eat till we are sick, drink, and the gyms are closed so we have that excuse." So many of think like this that it seems ok. If you really want something you will make it happen, and you will enjoy it. It's not about being hard on yourself, like I can't skip the gym or saying you can't eat something then be upset. It's about saying I want to go to the gym or I want to stick to my plan because that's what I like to do. Ignoring pressure from others to eat something or go out, if you don't want to go, then don't go.

We see this so much during the holidays. I honestly feel there can be so much pressure to eat and if you don't, you feel uncomfortable. This topic, in my opinion, is over talked about. With that stress on us it can lead to bigger issues. I have struggled with having awful anxiety towards eating, no one should live like that. If I ate something I felt I shouldn't, I would berate myself and break down. It rolled into having bigger issues, not being able to stop. I still feel like this from time to time but less often and it has me feeling more free and relaxed. The relaxed feeling has set me up to enjoy my choices more. It is my decision and when you do something you shouldn't, you live your life in guilt.

With Christmas and New Year’s, start taking action of your decisions. Don't wait to start your New Year’s resolution until after the holidays, enjoy the holidays but start working towards your new goals now! Practice your habits, and start your new routine. All my mind is thinking right now is “I'm so close to starting prep, say bye, bye to thunder thighs”!

Most importantly about his time is to enjoy the downtime with people that care about you and love you,

 Happy holidays

December 21. 2016

The Year is Almost Over

2016 has come and is about to go. I can say without a doubt that it has been a challenging year, but a great one full of joy and fun times. Lots of memories were made this year and overall it's been a great ride.

It's interesting to me but I've seen a lot of folks say that 2016 was their worst year or that they hated this year and a lot of it sadly has to do with politics, which are important, but what is more important is how we handle our everyday lives.  

This year, if I reflected on it and truly thought about what has occurred, I'd remember a ton of events that were positive that seemed negative at the time. Has there been tragedy this year? Surely so! However, I have tried my best to see the light through the darkness. What I've attempted to focus on is the positives over the negatives. I'll be the first to admit, this has been extremely trying and difficult. Just last night tragedy yet again struck in my family, but you know what? I have faith that things will be ok. I have to. It's the only way to survive and live in this world.

During this holiday season, I will be doing my best to cherish those around me. My family, friends and close acquaintances. This life moves so fast and if you blink, you'll miss it. I plan on doing my best to experience it to it's fullest and pray that it continues to be an improvement and I progress as well as those I care about. 

I don't really have much to say today, but I do want to say this. If you're down in a rut this season, please try and see the positive in life. Don't wallow in self doubt and self pity. Push forward, and smile about a new tomorrow because each day is a new beginning.

Enjoy your holidays and love one another.  

Thanks you,

Adam Hartley


Co-Owner/Coach Custom Fitness Consulting

December 16. 2016

Role Models

Last week I talked about being excited for our new girls, this week I want to talk about role models. Role models are important because they can shape you in ways that you may not even notice. We are all unique but we do tend to rub off on what we put ourselves around. These people are not perfect entirely but we look to them for advice when needed.

For me I have always had a hard time at school. School has been a struggle for years. When I was younger, I had trouble focusing and could easily be distracted which led to me falling behind. Now in my adult life I attend college but the decision of choosing what I want to pick for my major weighs on my shoulders every day. I do over think things but when I do decide on what I do, I want it to be right and to feel right, kind of like a marriage of sorts. You will be doing it the rest of your life. A role model I have while being a college student is an everyday person that can make decisions and stick to them, also balancing being more than just a student but an individual as well.

Work related role models are the people that come into work with a clear mind every day that have a drive to be more than just average. They leave their problems at the door and go and strive for more than just doing their job. It's the person that stays late at night or goes in early in the morning. The person that doesn't complain having a shorter lunch or picking up extra hours because someone calls in sick.

We take these characteristics and live our lives through them. Be it your personal, school, work or fitness lifestyles. Having an example to follow can lead to you being the person to follow one day. Put good people in your life that believe in you and challenge you at the same time.

I know this was a short excerpt but I wanted to show my point in a very exact manner. I hope everyone stays warm this weekend because we are supposed to get some snow!


Until next time,



December 14. 2016

Relaxation and Meditation

Good morning all! It's Wednesday and the holidays are around the corner and it's an exciting time of year for most. For others however, it's the most stressful time of year and even though it brings us joy, we dread it like being sick with the flu or a medical bill. It's one of those things we just want to get over with. There's obviously many, many reason for this, but I think the biggest reason is we lose sight of what is important in our lives and how to prioritize things so that we are accomplishing great feats. 

The most important thing in life (in my opinion) is happiness. If you are not happy, then you cannot properly live life and feel like you're doing the right things. 

So how can you be happy? I'll be honest with you, it's not easy. I have spoke about this before, but a lot of us are afflicted by mental disorders or by circumstances that are out of our control. Most of us are over-worked, under paid, under appreciated, and have a general sense of loathsomeness towards our everyday journey. It's usually not something that happens on purpose either. The people we feel that are wronging us or under rewarding us a lot of times have their own personal demons that afflict them in the exact same manner.

What we need to do to fight these feelings of self loathing, depression, anxiety...etc. Is to take an active approach towards being in a state of zen several times a week. I know that sounds a bit corny or like it's complete crap, but I assure you it's not. Zen is defined as being in a meditative state. All walks of life and religion need this at times in order to find balance. 

Now I never used to believe this, but when I took time to break down what meditation can be, I realized that I've done it my entire life. Meditation has many different meanings, but it's most powerful is being in a state of reflection and contemplation. It's like nostalgia in a lot of ways, and many of us, especially those of us passed our 30's experience nostalgia from early parts of our life. We remember things fondly and sometimes wish they were the same as they once had been. We could perhaps feel this way because the time was simpler or we had less responsibility or maybe there's a loved one we miss. The reasoning is not important, the fact that we think on things is however. 

Meditation leads to relaxation. Who in the world doesn't need to relax more? I can tell you that I for one do. I have more gray hairs than I can count and most of them have come from this last year. I was mega stressed by many events this year or by having that self loathing feeling. Does that mean I had a horrible year?? No way. I made it through, got to spend time with my family. Hang out with friends. Get closer to my business partner and about a million other things I can't recall off the top of my head.

Without a way to relax and meditate though, I feel as if I'd be a jumbled mess. I am an extremely high strung person. No joke and it's not a fun thing. So I do multiple things that I consider relaxing and meditative.

Firstly I exercise. This has been a key to my personal happiness for years, even when I was not in great shape. I've always valued exercise and know first hand what an impact it can make on your happiness and stress levels.

I play an instrument and have for the past twenty years. This has allowed me to put emotion into something other than words and get our aggression or create happiness for myself. It has been a constant release for me and I try to play everyday.

I listen to relaxing music. Now my relaxing will be different than your relaxing most likely. I can relax listening to heavy metal, classical, hip hop or right now I listening to a man from Indonesia play a tubular zither. I create a play list of what I call "music for my soul" and I listen any time I'm feeling down. It helps enormously. 

I talk to people. When I'm in a rut or need to express myself and can't keep it in, I talk to others who will understand me. They don't always understand my circumstances, but they understand the way I process things and often times can give me some objective way to think about the things upsetting me. 

I go to a therapist. Yes, I do and have for years and years now. I am not ashamed and I feel honored that I had almost 15 years with this woman who helped me get through those rough patches in life. She recently retired, but I'm happy for her and that's another story.

I pray. Now this is one that is a personal preference based on my belief system, but you can also meditate if you don't pray. To me, praying is meditative. I'm embracing my higher power and saying thank you and at the same time asking for grace, understanding and patience.

There are many other small things I do, but these are the main ones. Without these, I could still survive, but it makes my life easier and that's ok. You don't always have to feel beat up and just accept the feelings of pain that you experience. When I do feel them however, if I cannot overcome them, I try to embrace them. It's not always easy and I don't always succeed, but I try. That's half the battle in life. Trying. 

Believe it or not, mental exercises are just as important as physical exercises and in a lot of cases they are more important. 

Relax the best you can folks. Enjoy your lives and love the people around you as well as yourself. 

Thank you and have a fantastic week,

Adam Hartley


Check out our new Yotube channel at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjx0oTnpOPc or search Custom Fitness Consulting in the search bar

December 9. 2016

Sharing your Passion

This last week with the new competitors and friends that have started their prep or their own fitness journey, I have made a big point for myself to reach out to everyone and welcome them or remind them that they have a team that they can rely on. Say something nice to encourage everyone to stay positive and put in work. We all know what it's like to have a bad attitude and be scared, it holds us back. So besides having just a coach, when you join our team, competitor or not; you are joining a family that is there for you every step of the way. I distinctly remember the encouraging words that others sent to me during my prep, and it made me so happy. It also helped me believe in myself.

The other day I told my coach, off season is so much harder than prep. For me it is. During prep, you are seeing the changes. Verses now I'm bigger than I thought I would get and it makes me insecure. You think "Should I eat my food?... I'm already a tank" and that's how I feel... like a tank. If you guys read my previous blogs when I was in the middle of my improvement season, I was very discouraged. I would lay in bed and cry. Now I know I'm still big and it makes me uncomfortable but I don't get as down as before! Progress. Today, even if I feel like a monster I don’t let it bother me or if it does I try and move past it quickly. I'm glad that I'm wrapping up this experience with this mindset. This week I'm thinking I did it, I had my first full build season and I never will have to go to this extreme of a build again unless I want to change to figure... but that's another story! Mission accomplished. Another stepping stone in my experiences!

Most of us starting something new really don't know what to expect. You may have an idea but you really don't know. The new girls don't know how hard prep can truly be just like I thought off season would be easier! Boy, are we all wrong. If you are passionate about something you will try everyday no matter how uncomfortable you are. You won’t settle, exceed boundaries that test you! If it's being uncomfortably big or small. You’ll push the envelope! You also want others to share the love you have for something it makes it more enjoyable. Simply talking to the newbies and meeting more athletes at the different gym I go to now has me thinking in a way I haven’t since prep. I see the light. There is hope. I use to think that I let everyone down and that I failed.  Hearing what other people see in me makes me see myself in a different light.

All the encouragement I have sent out has come back to me and I have been spot on ever since Thanksgiving. No cardio missed and no cheating my diet. I have been on. I am no longer complaining about being hungry even though it’s still there but I am embracing the struggle, the pain… literally. I actually am look forward to my check in. I usually hate them or get really anxious but with following what I am told to a T, I cannot be disappointed.

Reflecting on my last year, I had my first prep and grow season. I made it and I did it! Like seriously guys!!! I thought off season would never end and even though I am not where I thought I would be I am coming out with a smile on my face. Now I get to share that with everyone. What I think I improved and when I had my slips. No stone left unturned. 25 days left until prep begins, just the thought puts a big grin on my face. It feels like a countdown until a show for me but it's just another new beginning. I'm excited to see what I have been working so hard for and as corny as it sounds I am excited to simply hear my coach say "good job". The point of what I was saying is say kind things to others, even if you don't know them and support your friends. One kind word might make someone's day and even change yours!


Have a great weekend,


December 7. 2016

Philosophy of Exercise

Yesterday I had an experience at the gym, and I 'd like to share with you my thoughts on that experience and how it has got my mind moving and expanding my own perspective.  

After my workout, I was sitting in the sauna, which is something I've done for quite awhile now. After I sit in the sauna, I'll go into the steam room and shower. This is my routine and has been for a few years. While I was in there I started a conversation with a gentleman sitting next to me. This is also something I've made a habit of, talking to folks I don't know and trying to get outside of my comfort zone and maybe make a new friend or have a kindred spirit to talk with on occasion. It's surprising to me how open others are to this as well, but that's another story. 

I was speaking with this gentleman and just talking about random things for a bit. Then we started discussing metabolisms and how to alter them and how vastly different each individual is. The man just so happened to be a doctor, which I was thrilled to discover, a seeker of knowledge such as myself. I'm always trying to learn something new, and broaden my horizon. I told him my method for exercise, which includes a light warm up, exercise, some cardio, cool down/stretching, then the sauna/steam room.  He recommended I try something new, which I'm always all ears too believe it or not. It was such a minor change too. To go into the steam room prior to exercise to open my air way, expand my lungs and get more oxygen to my body during activity. 

Now upon conducting my own research, I discovered that this is quite a debatable subject, which I found oddly amusing. Here's the thing though. Everyone has their own philosophies and everyone is physiologically different. What works for person A, may not work for person B or C. It's just the way we are built, to be different and respond differently. Guess what though? Like most things that won't harm me, I will embrace the idea and actually try it before dismissing it. I'm a student of giving things a proper go before I decide that they aren't for me. So during my next workout, that's exactly what I'll do. 

There's nothing that I could find that is conclusive for one way or another. 

It's just like exercise in general. Some people can lift weights, day in and day out and maintain a low body fat, never have heart issues or any issues for the most part. Others have to alternate or include extra cardio in order to maintain balance and overall health. Some people hardly every touch a weight and only do body-weighted exercises and happen to be stronger than most. We are all so amazingly different and that to me is awesome. The fact that I can be different and be an individual while trying to accomplish the same thing as someone else. 

A lot of things will however work for a lot of people, but if you broke a person down and really tried to optimize their training, you'd find that almost all people respond different to various forms of stimuli. 

What I'm saying here is that the human body is an amazingly versatile thing. One that I am very excited to have learned about and continue to study. 

Exercise will never be boring for me, because I am always adapting and trying to figure out what works best. How can I make this a bit smarter and not harder. That mindset has worked for me in more ways than I could tell you.

Hopefully this was a bit of food for thought and you're gathering my general message. You don't have to do what everyone else does to be a success. In fact, you could do quite the opposite, depending on what it is obviously, and still excel beyond your own expectations. 

All you have to do is get out there and try. You can't succeed if you don't try. If you do however, I think you'll be proud of yourself and realize you put forth an effort that was buried inside of you. It just needed to be awoken. 

Have a great day folks! Stay warm and get out of the house and work!!

Thank you,

Adam Hartley

Co-Owner/Coach Custom Fitness Consulting

ahartley@customfitnessconsulting.com for customized exercise and nutrition programs 

December 2. 2016

Post-Thanksgiving Thoughts

Hey guys, Cassie here back with another short blog for my followers. I thought it would be appropriate to talk about family around the holiday season. Over thanksgiving I got to see my nieces that live-in Colorado. I hadn’t seen them in a year and when you are so young you grow so much in a short amount of time. They had changed so much since the last time I have seen them. If you guy’s follow my journey, then you might have read that I don’t have strong family ties. Getting to see my nieces was everything to me because even though I don’t get along with my family. Something about seeing an innocent human being makes you forget the pain that is your family.

Talking about my nieces led me to think about where I am in my adult life and I wonder how others view me. I never do really consider how people see me, but for once I thought about it. We all know I have been harsh and can be pretty abrasive when it come to my fitness and passion. I don’t want to perceive this idea that my struggles mean I am weak. I want everyone to see where I am day in and day out and know that “life’s not perfect” there are good and bad days. I want my nieces, whenever they see me, to know maybe she isn’t the best but she is a fighter.

Today, I really sat back and thought of my future. It has been so up in the air and I was tired of it being out of control. I made some decisions that may be hard but will hopefully benefit me one way or another. If not I learned through it. For example, I made the choice to indulge on thanksgiving and steer off course. That day turned into a week of having little snacks here and there. Was it a good decision? Honestly yes and no. Yes, because I needed the diet break. I was frustrated with where I was at with my progress and it had been a few months of being very consistent, I am also not in a prep yet, so that part of me got to relax. But then my body reflected my decisions, so I do regret treating my body that way. Even though I didn’t binge, my body just cannot handle extra calories and that’s just me. Some people can and some people can’t. Sure, it sucks that it looks like I ate out every day when you didn’t. This is a hard pill to swallow but the sooner I accept that this is the way my body reacts and I have to learn to live with it, the sooner I will have a better relationship with myself and also be easier when it comes to dieting or a relationship with food.

I know guys, I started talking about family and ended up talking about food. Its late and my stomach is growling so brain is starting to shut down. Have a great weekend friends, and enjoy some time to relax.

Peace out,


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